Smash Hands
by PhantomGalaxy13
Summary: A different take on how the events of SSB 4 began in the form of a story.
1. You can't choose family

Super Smash Bros 4: Monsters within.

Deep within the folding points of time and space, one amazing pocket dimension, filled with a multitude of exotic living things and countless majestic scenery was getting ready for an epic cosmic event.

"Bwuah-buzah-buza-zuba!~"

Here we find a giant, flying, disembodied white glove hand dancing around as he placed trees upside down.

From the sky, a right hand version of the former being, showed an expression of dismay as he saw what his other was doing.

"Crazy Hand, I keep telling you! Stop trying to sing dubstep! Because you actually hit a piercing note that really gets on my nerves! And stop putting the trees upside down!"

The left hand, known as Crazy Hand, gasped and hugged his counterpart tightly. "Master Hand, Brother! You're alive! I was so sad when you were kidnapped by Taboo, forced to be his puppet, him killed you and left your corpse to rot in subspace—"

The other hand struggled free of his brother's grip. "Yeah, yeah. I also know that in your mad attempt to rescue me, you accidentally merged all of the former smashers' worlds together and forgot to re summon Roy and Mewtwo."

"What about Pichu?" The left hand asked.

"_What_ _about_ Pichu?" The right hand answered. "Anyway, with Tabuu gone, it's time to retry that whole 'pretending to conquer the multiverse' gig we always do. Which worlds were we planning to go to this time?"

"You want the new ones right? Well here they are!" Crazy Hand snapped his fingers and nothing happened. "See? I made them invisible!"

"We don't have eyes," Master Hand responded. "And even if they were invisible, I would have sensed you summoning the files, which you didn't."

For some reason, Crazy Hand was just frozen in snapped position and refused to even move an millimeter. MH sighed before summoning the files in front of him with a snap of his fingers.

"Hmm, OK… these are the new worlds and people we have to 'invite'. I'm sure everything will be fine then—KRAAAUUUUUAAHHHH!" Master Hand started twitching uncontrollably as he suddenly went into a spasm attack. A black fiery aura started to envelop him.

CH acted quickly and slammed his brother with his own body. "Master! Are you OK!?"

The right hand relaxed himself as the flames instantly died out. "Ugh. Yeah, it looks like I'm not completely healed from Tabuu messing with my powers… and killing me…"

Crazy floated upside down. "So what was that emo stuff all about?"

Master sighed again. "I think Tabuu did more damage to my core than I realized. My power is far more unstable now, especially with my powers that tie to actual raw power, combat, and primal related senses."

"Soooo does that mean we're not playing with the heroes this time?" Crazy Hand asked, slightly disappointed.

"No, I'm fine," Master told his brother. "Look, you were there to stop me from going too over board, so I'll take it easy, and as long as I'm with you this event will definitely be a million times better than the last one."

"Yay!" Crazy cried as he flew circles around his brother.

Master was a bit worried though; forcing himself through this event seemed like a bad idea, but he really needed to make things up to his brother and the others from last time.

Master caught his brother and told him to stop. "Alright, Crazy, since I'm taking it easy, you'll be the one to start off in Mario's world. I'll be there for support, but all the flashy showing off will be your doing, K?"

"EEeeeee!" Crazy hugged his brother again the only way a hand knows how, by hand shaking. "I. Was. Born. For. This!" He stopped shaking his hand before releasing and snapping his fingers.

* * *

**{Author Notes.}**

**Hope you enjoyed this simple one shot.**

**I personally have a story behind this that brings together all the smash heroes and such, but I rather not try and dedicate another LONG idea with already several stories on my plate along with trying to schedule my studies. **

**Just a small explanation on my version of the Two hands.**

**In this AU they are powerful and high cosmic beings that just want to have fun. Their fun being the Super Smash Bros. series where they pretend to be evil and create situations where the characters fight or team up with each other, and ultimately take them both down.**

**However, this caught the attention of an evil deity, Tabuu, who kidnapped Master Hand in their 3rd installment of the SSB series and caused Crazy Hand to panic and force the worlds together in order for the heroes to save his brother. (The Events of Subspace Emissary here.)**

**Master Hand has finally 'recovered' but not fully enough to regain his powers. But, he still wants to go on with this next SSB for causing his brother grief in the last one.**

**Now all the Hands have to do is stir up trouble in both new and old worlds as they set up their up coming game.**

**Hope you enjoyed this, bye!**


	2. A small idea done big

Poof!

The two hands had arrived in Mario's world.

Sorta.

Crazy Hand waved at the very startled and probably traumatized Koopa. "Hi Bowser Jr.! I am your maker's friend's creation! That makes us cosmic cousins!"

Master Hand sighed. "Crazy, for the love of all that is good and evil, what happened to that invasion force we were going to use?"

"Hey, wait a sec, I know you! You're those crazy cosmic Hands my papa beats every time!" The Koopaling pointed accusingly at them.

"Silly scientific insult of a reptilian, I'm Crazy Hand! The zero and only!" The left hand made a thumbs up sign jubilantly.

Master Hand sighed at his brother's antics before pointing at the little boy. "Well. I did promise to take it easy. So I'm going to give you eight seconds before I unleash our New and Improved Subspace army at you. My suggestion? Go and run to your family. It'll be fun, I swear."

"Aww crud!" Bowser Junior cried as he quickly grabbed a large paintbrush and ran out his room. If his Pa's stories were even half true these things packed a punch! … Hmm was that a hand pun? Wait, no time for that. "GUYS! WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! AND NO, IT'S NOT ACTUALLY MARIO THIS TIME!"

Master Hand couldn't help but laugh. "Ahh well. That actually went better than I thought it would go."

Both He and Crazy Hand then clapped themselves together and summoned a portal to unleash their army of wire frames now made to look more like balloon people.

Master Hand raised his brow (?) as he saw the types of minions he now had. "Crazy? Why do our minions look like Mii(s) now?"

"Well, we are playing in the Wii U version! Keep up with the times bro! They each have their own custom moves!" Crazy Hand whispered in excitement.

Master Hand watched as his new Army quickly overwhelmed Bowser's army from the inside. They sure were caught off guard from being attacked from the inside, and the Mii army was actually quite versatile in attacks and movements than Bowser's henchmen, the Mii army even borrowed and used weaker versions of the smasher's signature attacks that Bowser's minons had no idea how to respond too. Master Hand sensed Bowser and his other seven children with Bowser Jr. be the only ones seemingly handling their new smash minions.

Seeing some of Bowser's force trying to regroup, Master Hand quickly motioned a portion of his army to intercept reinforcements and cut off escape. He had to make this invasion look good, and while he was healing up he had played a lot of MOBA's, strategy games, and Tower Defense while he was healing up. So he was in full time strategy mode to look as intimidating as possible.

He sent his sword users to counter hammer bros and elite spiked koopas while stationing a form of air blockade by placing his range Mii users in strategic points to prevent any flier or escape pods from escaping or reaching the air space in this volcanic land. His Fighter Miis were used to pressure Bowser into wasting his resources, sending them all to do their best to swarm Bowser and his family.

It was then Master hand felt a unique spark. Two of them to be exact.

Magic.

"Looks like Kammy and Kamek Koopa are here to save their masters." Master Hand told his brother who was somehow reading Bowser Junior's diary he left in his bedroom.

"I feel your pain, cosmic cousin!" C.H. sniffed as he read the very emotional and inspirational tales written in the small book.

M.H. Turned back his body towards the current throne room of Bowser Castle where he felt both magikoopas combine their spell to warp all of their men out of the throne room.

"Alright. That didn't take too long." Master Hand felt rather accomplished before summoning a new map of the ever changing Mushroom Kingdom. "Now Crazy, it's time to invade the Mushroom Kingdom."

Crazy Hand instantly put on a Toad Hat on the back of his palm and shouted out. "Ole! Now I get to see if Game Theory was actually right about Princess Peach being evil!"

"Ugh. I hope you don't mention the fourth wall too much. You know what happens when you do that."

"No I don't."

"Exactly." Master Hand pointed out. "Alright, since we're going easier on our cosmic powers. Let's take a more tactical style of conquering this world. I'm going to motion our troops to commandeer Bowser's resources like his air ships and such and launch a ground assault in the front while surrounding Princess Peach's Castle with air support to cut off any escape!"

C.H. Lazily rolled in Bowser Jr.'s bed. "Bro. You're forgetting that this is Princess Peach you're talking about. Even a normal military move like that is already overkill on the peaceful kingdom. Couldn't we just pull a Bowser and just kidnap her in a blink of an eye? I bet there's a party going on right now and we'd totally fit the usual Mario Trope of kidnapping her during a party." He casually dismissed.

"I spent 300 hundred earth years playing Smite, Dota 2, All Starcraft expansions, Lol, and other PC strategy games just because I was in a healing state from Tabuu. It's hard to get out of the thinking mentality. The only game I played that I didn't need to think as hard was Half Life 3. Lords that game is amazing." Master Hand complained as he motioned the army to work.

-]

Being a high cosmic Hand and all, Master Hand was easily able to out maneuver the Mushroom Kingdom Army, but then one must realize that is pretty much the equivalent of a pro basket ball player playing basketball against an inanimate rubber duck. The biggest shock of such a situation would be if said duck would even score.

Master Hand and Crazy Hand led their army towards the Mushroom Kingdom while the two hands conversed.

"You know, I've been thinking bro." Crazy started off over the mad wails of horrified toads poorly scattering beneath them in mass hysteria.

"Shoot." Master told him. It was better to let his brother speak things out since he would say it anyway. Spending eternity with Crazy and you do get to eventually understand at least some of his quirks. … Not all, but the tiniest bit of clarity can help.

"With you going all tactician on our fighters… why not make a story? Instead of dragging all worlds together and making them fight to reach us, how about we sort of Roleplay along with this Smash Torunament?"

Master Hand actually considered that. "… Huh. That actually sounds like a great idea. Alright then Crazy. This time, we'll try to make a story behind this."

"I will play the part of Mysterious Mystery Hand!" Suddenly Crazy poofed a crooked, thin mustache, a large cape, and a black top hat.

"Crazy, they already know who you are." Master explained as he sensed the presence of more than a dozen familiar fighter presences. "Ahh, perfect. Mario and all the others are there. I even see DK, Diddy Kong, Wario, and Yoshi with him—heck even some of Bowser's people are there. I guess the magikoopas sent them to Mario. Glad to see we're still considered a high threat." Master Hand then sensed beyond and noticed a large banner. "… Oh crap, we invaded on Luigi's birthday!"

"Oooh. Poor guy." Crazy winced.

"Crazy, you were the one to choose this date."

"I know. Why did I remember his birthday was today?"

Master Hand would have rolled his eyes if he had any. "Alright then. I'm taking it easy, so off you go and try to threaten Mario's world."

"Eeee!" Crazy Hand squealed but was still not changed out of his costume with the hat and cape.

With a mighty storm in the back ground, along with a sizeable army of stolen goods, Crazy started off his speech. "**Heroes and Villains of the Mushroom Kingdom! Our presence signifies one thing! A dance off!**"

"Well he got two sentences off that weren't random, so that's an improvement." Master told himself first before correcting his brother.

"**I mean it is time for all of you to be enslaved as our trophies forever! As they say after all, third time's the charm!**"

"Hey you poor excuse for an octopus, this is your fourth time trying to turn us into trophies!" Bowser bellowed with cocky defiance.

"**Actually the third time was actually Tabuu, not us. Remind us to sue him later!**" Crazy answered.

Master noticed something among the smashers. They seemed to be whispering about something. He focused in on what they were actually trying to say.

"Isn't that Crazy Hand talking?" Diddy Kong asked.

"Yeah, what's the deal? Isn't Master Hand supposed to be, ya know? The master?" DK added in.

"I thought we would see the last of him at subspace!" Luigi complained, his whining was especially fearful. Probably because they choose to attack on his birthday. "Didn't he die there!?"

"Not to worry Master Luigi," Toadsworth tried to appease the green man. "I'm sure even those two will fall to this many warriors who have defeated him before."

"Still," Wario mused as he scratched his butt. "That's one show of power they're doing this time. Look at that army. Man, they better have more valuable treasures than before."

"… You know I think we should actually knock you out before you try to join his side again." Yoshi coldly offered.

"Hey! Bowser's here and I don't see you plotting to take him down!" Wario pointed accusingly.

Master tuned out the rest of the conversation as he noticed Crazy was going of tangent again.

"…**en I realized that Little Timmy was stuck in a well, and I ran up to the well and said, 'GET A LIFE TIMMY! YOUR MOM DOESN'T LOVE YOU!'** **To this day you could probably hear his cry baby tears forever filling up the well of that town and giving people somewhat salty water to drink from.**"

Master decided to step in.

"**OK.**" That one word was all it took for everyone's fear to come back and focus all attention to the coherent and ambitious brother. "**This time, we thought we'd mix things up a little. It is true you have defeated us before, but that was because we had simply tried to force our way to make you our trophies… this time, we're going to pit you against other worlds in order to survive! If you can defeat the next world, we will spare your world from becoming a part of our collection! MWAHAHA!**"

Master sensed the shock in everyone's reactions. They were actually going into war?

Mario glared at Master Hand. No doubt that despite his portly appearance, Mario was one of the better heroes in this side of the multiverse.

Master sensed Mario's inner thoughts and was pleasantly surprised at the plan he had thought off.

It looked like taking a more story oriented invasion theme was a good idea.

"**I'll open a large Portal at the Outskirts of the Pipe Planes. It will lead to that's world's heroes. Defeat them and your world will be spared. In fact, I will construct the portal, so that you may even have a surprise attack on them! This gift will only be for two days until we decide to go there and tell them of your deal first.**" Master Hand fake cackled masterfully to make the belief that he was truly sadistic and evil.

"Crazy, bring us back to Bowser's Castle." Master asked his brother.

"Dokie!" Crazy then made them all appear in the Bean Bean Kingdom.

"This could take a while." Master Hand noticed the royal members of the Bean Bean Kingdom.

Several thousand attempts later, Crazy finally brought their armies back to Bowser's castle.

"Alright, just wait here and relax. Whatever happens in two days, happens."

"I'm going to rummage through the Koopaling's rooms!" Crazy stated before zooming off.

Master summoned the files of the potential new smashers for their tournament and noticed one that was also found in this world.

There was a certain star that needed to grant his wish.

* * *

**{Author notes.}**

**Howdy everyone! I rather enjoyed this small little snippet.**

**Writing Master Hand and Crazy hand made me giggle so much. And I just… empathize with Crazy Hand, ya know?**

**Crazy Hand: Hive five sister!**

**I'm a guy and waitCrazyI'msmallerthan—**

***Gets crushed under Crazy***

**Crazy Hand: … Err… thanks for readin?**


	3. Fan Boys With Powers

Despite have no actual lungs and a mouth, Master Hand coughed.

"OK… never underestimating the Mother of the Cosmos again. She actually managed to damage… well more of a scratch really, but she did still affect us." He dusted himself off and turned to Crazy, who was now dusty black from an extremely hot attack.

Master and Crazy Hand had just finished damaging Rosalina's super cosmic ship, but not before Rosalina, pulling quite an impressive feat, used the power of the Grand Stars to hit both hands with the equivalent of being hit by a sun that went Supernova.

Master Hand sensed his brother looking reflectively at himself—not a good thing. Crazy turned to his other. "Does this mean we finally get a more ethnically diverse character set?"

Master Hand smacked his brother. "We do not go there! Bad Crazy! … At least you worded that as vague as possible!"

"B-But the open avenue of Jokes!"

"Crazy those jokes are offensive and tasteless!"

"But we're not even human! Let alone mortal!"

"But our _consumers_ are Humans and Mortals! I am not having this discussion with you any longer!" Master hand snapped his fingers and cleaned Crazy up.

"Alright now we've done everything we could to Mario's world. Let's go to the next world."

"I thought you're giving Mario and Bowser, two extra days?"

"Oh I am, and I was completely honest in keeping that Portal to the new world open only to people from this world—" A Mario Galaxy Planet just passed Crazy and Master. "… Err Universe? But if lawyers have taught me anything, there are always loopholes."

"Curse you Lawyers! The One thing in reality our powers have no affect on! If it wasn't for your stupid Copyright issues we would have had DC and Marvel Crossovers a long time ago!"

"Actually Crazy, DC and Marvel already had some crossover comics. I think it was around the early 1990's? No… might have been before that. Second of all DC and Marvel already reference each other a lot and have waayyy too many super heroes and villains that resemble each other.' Master countered.

"Well I think Copyright rules suck!"

"Watch it. It's because of those rules that our franchise is so famous in the first place for being somewhat of an exception to them." Master corrected. "We're getting off topic. Do you even know the world I opened up for the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"Silly Brother, you're asking coherent questions!"

"… It's the Fire Emblem Awakening world."

"The strategy Dating Sim Game?"

"… ANYWAY," Master Hand said. "I'm taking a page from your book. Mario and the others are safe, but the Fire Emblem Awakening world might be under attack by the time the others get there…"

"Ooo! I'm excited!" Crazy exclaimed as he caught some star bits and ate them—somehow. "Man no wonder Lumas love these things! They're sparkly! Anyway, what do you have in mind?"

Master Hand smiled. "Well, tell me about this idea Crazy: The Fire Emblem Awakening World Versus…

Hyrule Warriors?"

* * *

**{Author's Notes}**

**Dut Dut DUUUN!**

**As you can probably see I sort of gave Master Hand And Crazy Hand reflections more like Fan Boys with Master Hand being more business oriented, but still having fun with the worlds around them despite having so much power.**

**Also, this story is going to be updated sporadically and randomly in range varying from this small, to size of the previous Chapter, to maybe even longer if I want to (but unlikely due to other things.)  
**

**I'm actually serious in saying this is a casual story because Crazy and Master Hand are seen mostly as fans than actual high cosmic beings and such.**

**Next time: Fan Boys part 2! The Set up!**

**Master Hand: Oh and support the official release. And Thank you for reading.**

**Crazy: Hey! How come I don't get as many funny bits as I did in the last one!?**


	4. Identity Gender Questioned!

"And this one is for never thinking of flying upside down for one second!" Crazy Hand right hooked Grima hard in the dragon chin despite being a left hand.

Grima wailed in pain before toppling over unconscious.

"OK we defeated his Astral Projection," Master Hand floated in and created magic chains to restrain Grima. "Which means we have complete control over Grima's Avatar as head priest or something in Plegia. Whatever we do right now, the human disguise of Grima will to."

Master Hand looked to Crazy.

"Seriously! Gravity is the best kind of magic! You don't even have to do anything! You could have even flown sideways it still would have worked!" He yelled to Grima.

"Crazy! I'm going to rile up the enemies from the Hyrule Warriors universe. You make sure you have the Grimleal and Plegians attack Hyrule, alright?"

Crazy somehow saluted. "You can count on me President! I will not fail our country!"

"Technically speaking, I think we're from Japan."

"Bomb Pearl Harbor!"

"Dang it Crazy!"

"My lord Grima?"

Crazy Hand and Master Hand turned towards a vision in the astral plane that showed Grima's point of view as a human.

Currently, he was sitting on a dark throne with Validar kneeling and questioning him.

Master turned to his brother. "Just make sure to attack Hyrule." He said before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Crazy Hand stared at the empty space his brother left. "Did brother disappear? Or was he never there in the first place?" Crazy contemplated the deep—stupid—but deep questions.

Meanwhile, Validar raised his brow at his god given form of a mortal.

"Err yes!" _Grima _suddenly answered, suddenly sounding way more vivid. "You! Voldemort!"

"It is Validar, great one."

"We are going to launch an attack!"

Validar's eyes widened. "What?! But my lord, the plan!"

"We're not going to attack the Shepherds, silly billy!" Crazy possessing Grima said as he tried to remove his hood. "We're going to—OH MY HAND I HAVE BOOBIES."

* * *

Master Hand decided to take a slightly different approach when he came into the World of Hyrule Warriors. In this period, Cia was still alive and trying to capture Link and Zelda for the Triforce.

"Hmm… now how do I do this. … Alright."

Master hand used his high cosmic powers to pose as Ganon, who was posing as Cia's subconscious and tempting her to make the wrong choices.

"Erhm! Ciiiaaaa… I am your suuubbbcooonnnscioouuss!"

The evil female wizard blinked before scratching her head. "I must be spending too much time with Wizzro if I'm starting to speak like a child's bed sheet."

Master Hand also thought he was spending too much time with Crazy. Alright time for the direct approach. "Cia! The tears in the Time and Space have opened a new portal! A realm where the Goddess of Hyrule do not exist! Perhaps their foreign magic can dispel the Hero's curse and make him eternally grateful to you!"

"Yes!" Cia exclaimed, looking at her Orb at the new gate of reality. "Volga! Gather your forces, we make for this foreign land and capture its capital! The Castle with the Blue flag!"

Master Hand wondered what Crazy was doing right about now.

* * *

Crazy Hand posing as Grima lead _her_ forces towards Hyrule which was just recently captured back by Princess Zelda and her forces throughout the timelines.

Princess Zelda and the others were surprised to be attacked by a completely different force from Cia's army. But none the less, they mustered their forces, being led by the heroes from different time lines.

"I sense powerful magic there, Lord Grima." Aversa, Validar's right hand woman explained. "It may not be Naga's but it reeks of light…"

"Light has a smell?" Crazy Grima asked before shaking her head. "I mean yes! Light is smelly! Really bad and smelly! I should know because I have a nose! … Which is very important as me, Craz—Grima!"

Way to go Crazy, way to be subtle.

Aversa looked to Validar. "My King… is something wrong with our god?"

Validar turned to her, wearing glasses with springball eyes dropping around. "Silence Girl! Can't you see our great and glorious Grima has opened up a new world for his touched to be blessed by!?"

Aversa bowed. "Forgive me my liege."

"You are forgiven woman with a pointy half dress!" Crazy Grima answered. "Now it's time to put on our new ceremonial battle head gear!" Crazy said as he put on sun glasses. Aversa did the same as Validar somehow put sunglasses over his spring eyeball glasses.

"Voldemort! Start our new battle cry!" Crazy Grima pointed to the man wearing two sunglasses.

Validar turned to the large amount of people and pointed dramatically at the opposing army setting up defenses to them. "Don't you ever say I just walked away! I will always want you! I can't live a lie, running for my life! I will always want you…" He barked before taking out his tome in his last sentence.

"**WE CAME IN LIKE A WREEECCCCCCKKKINGGG BBBAAALLLL!**" The entire Grimleal shouted in chorus as a battle cry and answer as they ran madly to meet with the Hyrulian army waiting to meet with them.

Crazy Grima shed a tear behind her sun glasses.

"That was so beautiful…" She silently whimpered in a high-pitched voice and wiped the single tear off her face before taking a sword and tome book and launching herself towards the fight.

* * *

Crazy wasn't the only one having the strange case of Identity-ception.

Master Hand wanted things to be convincing. So he posed as Wizzaro as the real one was trapped deep within the trappings of his own mind. Then he posed as Wizzaro, posing as Princess Zelda once more.

"Finally you use that treacherous mind for something actually clever, Wizzaro." Cia commented to Master Hand in Wizzaro disguised as Zelda.

"Yes. First impressions though last, even if they are false…" Master Wizzaro Zelda said as she summoned a replica of a Rapier of light.

Cia noticed something off. "Hmm, your disguise has actually gotten better. If I didn't know any better, I'd almost say you're the real Zelda."

Master Zelda decided to switch topics. She placed a hand on her head. "Milady, the enemy forces are enroute to meet us. I sense a smaller, but I assume elite, force is attempting to flank our rear."

Cia blinked. "That was quite the tactic. It appears we are facing a strong tactician…" She smiled to Master Wizzelda. "Perhaps you can greet them as Princess of Hyrule…"

* * *

He—She tore through the Hyrule armies like level one goo monsters. Using the dark tome and sword, Crazy performed powerful blasts of energy as one of the vanguards for the Grimleal.

She then sensed a powerful soul coming her way and nimbly dodged a powerful cast of light based spells.

Crazy Grima looked over to see one of the newest original Characters from the Hyrule Warrior Franchise.

"Ah! Wanna fontanna? Hanna Montana, Lana?!" Crazy pointed her blade to the blue haired sorceress.

"W-What!? W-Who are you!?" The sorceress demanded as Crazy called out her name.

"I am Robin of the Shepherds!" Crazy Grima complained. "I am a girl! Like you!" Again, way to go out of your way to remind everyone the obvious, Crazy, "And you, my stylish friend, do not fit the mythos of the Legend of Zelda mythos, even though this world is a spin off! I mean seriously, you're like the Japanese Anime Idol of the Zelda Franchise! You don't fit! But I still am a sucker for People with unrequited love! So I still ship you with Link!"

Lana flushed. And Crazy noted, much like an anime character, she looked adorable. "W-What!? I don't understand a word you saying! Sh-Shut up!"

Crazy blinked. "That's it. I'm shipping you. I don't care about what the ZeldaXLink Shippers say now." Crazy launched a bolt of lightning towards her, making her dodge the attack.

What followed was a rather epic fight between the two of them. However, Crazy, with her unpredictable movements and powers, overwhelmed Lana and blasted wind magic to slam her into a wall.

"Oh please be nearby or this is going to be awkward…" Crazy muttered to herself softly as she gathered a large energy of dark energy around her palm. "And now, girl wearing a skirt, perish at the hand of the powers that are purple and black—which symbolizes evil apparently!" Crazy threw the sphere, making it expand towards the downed girl.

Lana braced herself pitifully for the attack, but suddenly, a man jumped off a horse that was on top of a cliff and slashed Crazy's attack in half and canceled the momentum.

"Link!?" Lana cried out in surprise. "You were supposed to be routing the enemy fort!"

It was the legendary green warrior. He turned back to his injured ally with a smile. "And leave you alone with this witch? Are you alright Lana?" He offered a hand to her.

"Y-Yes…" She nervously said before taking the hand. Crazy Grima raised both her arms in triumph without both of them noticing before Link turned and glared at Crazy who was really doing her best not to smile at the shipping moment.

"Are you one of the commanding officers?" Link glared fiercely.

"Ahh right. You're not technically our Link…" Crazy realized.

"Excuse me?"

"You're excused, but still, you really got some interestingly animated moves!" Crazy swung her Levi Blade. "Come on Hero, show me a SMASHING time!" Crazy Grinned before attacking the two.

* * *

"Ahh!"

"Robin!" The blue haired prince screamed.

Master WizZelda viewed the area around her. She looked over the forces known as the Shepherds and zoomed into two people who would make excellent candidates for smashers.

She flicked her hair and pointed her sword at them. This was a good opportunity to test the mettle of the new Smashers. "I am princess Zelda of Hyrule!" She declared by making beams of light appear behind her to give her an almost goddess-like appearance. "If you want to live, show me the strength of your steel!" Master proclaimed before launching powered up versions of Zelda's attacks.

* * *

**{Author Notes}**

**As you can probably see I had a lot more fun in this chapter since it's slightly long! It's really too easy to actually write Crazy. I just imagine him as a hyperactive kid with the ability to mess with his favorite series and it jus writes itself!**

**Also, The Hands pull a "White Chicks" and walk in the shoes of two beautiful women!**

**Crazy Hand: And you know'd I walk a thousand miles…!~**

**Master Hand: I like that song.**

**Me too.**

**Everyone: … To just, see you… tonight! DADADADADADA!**

**Alright, enough signing. Thanks for reading and following and favoriting! But I also appreciate some reviews as well! They are also appreciated! And the more of all three I receive, the faster these shorts come out!**


	5. Author Used Confuse Ray

"You know, if I made my ears pointy, do you think we could pose as sisters?" Crazy Grima asked as she and Master Wizzelda met over in their personal dimension.

With a snap of her fingers, Master Wizzelda turned them both back into hand form.

"Alright, we riled them up. Both bad guys are licking their wounds, and staying back in their world from our… 'tactical' retreat. But now the heroes are going on the offensive to where these new enemies are and they are inbound to meet with each other." Master Hand explained.

Crazy Hand looked at himself somehow with eyes or a reflection. "I miss being a girl already…"

"Alright… according to this, the Hyrule and Ylissean armies are about to meet soon," Master Hand sensed. "I wonder who would win between…"

Master Hand paused briefly befor saying. "Oh."

"P! Q! R! S! T! Wii U—V!"

"Crazy, did you sense that?"

"I refuse to respond to a question that accepts yes or no."

Master hand rolled his eyes somehow. "Mario and Bowser used the Portal."

* * *

"Robin, are you alright?" Chrom of the Shepherds asked.

The female tactician rubbed her arm, but suddenly stopped and shrugged it off. "I'm fine. I'll be better when I kick that Zelda in the teeth," She sighed. "But we'll need to handle her carefully since she is able to use such wide spread and powerful magic in tandem with a sword. Her entire fighting style has me completely re thinking my strategies. And what was worse was that was only one of their commanders…"

"Don't worry mom!" Her son from an alternate future that mysteriously also has amnesia popped behind her. "Your plan to have the Einherjar cards out is definitely well thought out."

Time then froze.

Crazy Hand popped into existence with educational elevator music in the back ground that sounded eerily similar to the tune in the Nintendo E shop. "It's time for Crazy Hand's Helpful Hints! Now, since there are those people who for some reason are not fully invested into the lores that we here in Nintendo offer—WHY AREN'T YOU INVESTED—allow me to educate you apathetic water sacs what Eivl-jar-thinga-mabob-doohickes are."

Crazy Hand pointed to the frozen Robin and out came a large deck of glowing cards.

"As you can probably imagine since this is a fic not an actual animated series, the glowing deck of cards have power beyond mortal comprehension, but they suck playing solitaire with! These cards without any attack or defense points harbor spirits of ancient heroes past or past Fire Emblem games. So we totally didn't steal these from Yugioh and Magic the Gathering. You can tell because these cards won't damn trap your soul to a pseudo hell… I think."

Crazy Hand also pointed to the young boy nearby Robin. "Oh and case you didn't know: Fire Emblem Awakening is the first in it's the series to have time travelers. For the sake of appealing to random fandoms out there, imagine all children from the future have English accents and like to they are alien Time Lords with the ability regenerate into a new person when they die."

Crazy Hand looked to the sky above him. "Hold a second, I'm getting word that I'm not actually allowed to rapidly metamorph the biology of the future kids. Curse you Executive Producer!"

And with that, Crazy hand vanished and The Shepherds continued their march.

However, their scouts ahead told their leaders that they had spotted the nearby Hyrulian army with Princess Zelda in the lead. The real one mind you, and not the fake Zelda that Fake Wizzaro was pretending to be because he was Master Hand.

Zelda's scouts also had detected the Ylisseain army, also recognizing Robin among them that was actually a fake Robin being played by Fake Grima being played by Crazy Hand.

Now the two forces were soon going to fight each other because they thought that the enemy that attacked them was really their leader when in reality it was their enemy posing as them but really an all powerful forces posing as their enemy posing as their allies posing as their enemy.

"That made sense!" Crazy Hand said. "Forever."

Master Hand looked towards his brother. "Who are you talking to?"

"The End of the Chapter."

"The End of the wha—"


End file.
